Aug. 26th, 2004 at 2:24 AM I sat down and wrote this letter Telling you that I felt better Since you've gone and I was free I'm so happy I have so little time to spare now I'm wanted almost everywhere now I make out like Casanova Friends are always coming over I signed my name as if I meant it And sealed it with a kiss and sent it The letter headed through my mood Happy in my solitude But halfway home I changed my tune And when I saw my lonely room The mirror

Aug. 25th, 2004 at 2:28 PM 迷上了海市蜃樓 寧願要死在裡頭 永遠的留在此地 從此不分離

Aug. 10th, 2004 at 8:37 AM 走了. 走前甚至沒有跟你說再見, 你會氣死吧? 我可是很快樂. 我不願意跟你同住在一個城市, 雖然只見了一次但感覺可怕的接近. 這裡只有不愉快的回憶, 悶熱的天氣讓人情緒不穩定, 連天空都掛滿苦澀的雲, 就見你一次足以把我腦子再不由自主的混淆. 我不愛你, 不愛你. 只不過是礙著這個身份責任上要見一見你. 因為我的血, 因為那些錢, 我們曾經陷入困境才跟你要一點點的贍養費. 平心而論, 其實你可以拒絕的, 但是你終於也幫助了我們, 這點我很感激. 你不是壞人, 當然不是壞人. 但我不喜歡見到你, 對你異常抗拒. 有許多個年頭, 你讓我恨了我最親近的人, 你讓我討厭我身邊的人. 我分不清, 分不清黑白, 因為所有都是灰色的. 那我算什麼? 一個間諜? 一個吃裡扒外的人? 都是你訓練出來亂咬人的一條狗. 那時候我不喜歡他們, 雖然我表面上很喜歡他們, 雖然我心底有時候都覺得我很愛他們. 他們覺得我從小就很乖, 都被騙了. 不哭不鬧, 只不過是為了確保不會被遺棄而已.

Aug. 17th, 2004 at 3:25 PM Photo by Howard Sochurek We used to think, and maybe still do, that our emotions spring from some essential part of ourselves that's inexplicable to science and medicine. But neuroscientists are fast disabusing us of that notion. In recent years, researchers have identified naturally occurring substances in the brain responsible for everything from fear to sadness to anger. Now, they've linked two neurohormones to what's arguably the most pleasur

Aug. 1st, 2004 at 1:01 AM 被太陽包圍真舒服. 蓋上這張被子--一整個世界的空氣擱在身上, 第一次感受到溫暖的重量. 被水包圍著真舒服. 大海作床, 浪作枕頭... 而到底誰主我的浮沉?